Gary Whitlock is a father with a purpose.
Not only does the dad of two daughters want to parent his girls well, he wants to help other dads do the same.
Whitlock knows that being a modern dad has many challenges, for both married and single dads, alike. That’s why Whitlock started the Dads and Daughters and Sons (DADS) Group.
“When you have kids, there’s no manual that you’re given,” chuckled Whitlock, himself a single dad.
Whitlock has taken many parenting courses, as well as asked friends for advice. After his marriage ended, Whitlock decided to take a more active role in raising his daughters, who he has custody of for a week at a time.
Though becoming a more dedicated parent had a lot of learning involved, Whitlock saw immediate benefits.
“I saw a huge difference in my girls. I’ve learned to be more patient, to be quiet. There’s always new information to learn because your kids are always changing.”
Whitlock wants fathers in the area to know that “wonderful resources” are available to help fathers connect with their kids and even their spouses.
“Taking an active role in parenting your kids builds a better relationship with your children and also with your spouse,” said Whitlock, who points out that the DADS Group welcomes all fathers.
Since last August, the group has been meeting once a month to take part in fun, usually low-cost outings, like swimming, paintball, playing in the park and at Christmas, selecting a Christmas tree. In June, a barbecue is planned. The group will take a break over summer holidays, then resume meeting monthly in September.
Whitlock has had a lot of interest in the group, but there are many fathers who don’t realize the such a group is available to them.
“This is a safe place where dads can connect with their kids and enjoy time with them. We really want to get the word out.”
Some of the biggest challenges facing fathers, and families, today are financial stress and changing roles within the family.
“Men are trying to figure out where they are at. Financial stress causes a lot of break ups. Dads now have to be involved and learn a lot of tools. It used to be simple, now it’s not.”
Whitlock credits local support agencies like the Shuswap Family Resource and Referral Centre (SFRRC), the Downtown Activity Centre and Shuswap Children’s Association for being helpful in supporting kids and parents. Part of the DADS Group is to help make fathers and families aware of these resources.
“These agencies don’t have huge budgets but they are wonderful supports for parents in these tough times.”
Whitlock has received help with the group from SFRRC volunteer coordinator and receptionist Laureen Shannon.
Shannon has noticed a positive difference in many kids and dads who attend the group.
“They’re excited about the time they get to spend together. They get to really engage with each other and they look forward to the next month’s outing.”
The group, Shannon points out, is for any dad, regardless of income, family or relationship situation. The group even includes dads from out of town, who may be in the area to spend time with their children, who live locally.
“The group is for every dad. We’d like to see more dads get involved and tell the group what they’d like to do.”
For information about the dads group, contact the SFRRC at (250) 832-2170 or Whitlock at (250) 463-1626 or by email amoderndadslife@gmail.com or sfrrcinfo@familyresource.bc.ca.