The other day I lost my car.
This is not a simple thing to do, as it is a silver mini van that weighs oh, about 4,000 pounds, but I managed it.
And this wasn’t a case of parking it in a different row.
This was me, walking down to the parking lot and standing there dumbfounded with no van in sight.
My adrenalin was pumping, my heart was racing, and I thought seriously about phoning the police to report it stolen. I was in the process of grabbing my cell phone to call the RCMP when I remembered – I hadn’t parked in my usual location because I had run an errand at lunch and managed to luck into a parking spot closer to my office.
My point is that sometimes, people can forget even the biggest things. I bring this up, after spending some time reading about the horrific situation recently where two children, in separate instances, were found dead in overheated vehicles.
As a parent, I can not think of anything worse.
As a recent Washington Post story explained, there is no consistent profile of people who have left children in cars to die. It happens to the absentminded but also to task-oriented type A personalities. It happens to the wealthy and it happens to the poor. It could happen to me. The situation with my van is a prime example.
“Memory is a machine, and it is not flawless. Our conscious mind prioritizes things by importance, but on a cellular level, our memory does not. If you’re capable of forgetting your cellphone, you are potentially capable of forgetting your child,” David Diamond, a professor of molecular physiology at the University of South Florida, told the Washington Post.
What really got me, however, was the reaction of some people on news websites as they publicly castigated the parents and caregivers in some of the foulest language possible.
They called for lifetime jail sentences and a number of people even suggested leaving them to die in scorching temperatures would be the appropriate punishment.
The incredibly harsh judgments shocked me – yes, some cases might involve true neglect, but most often this situation happens to loving, caring parents whose only explanation was that they simply forgot.
Who among us has not done things on autopilot only to realize that wasn’t really what we were supposed to be doing?
What parents can do is make a habit of looking in the vehicle – front and back – before locking the door and walking away. If this habit becomes your “autopilot” there’s much less chance of tragedy. The Canadian Safety Council also suggests parents should also do things to remind themselves that their child is in the vehicle, such as putting items such as briefcases, coats or purses in the back, or sticking a note on your dashboard as a reminder.
The answer is that this could happen to anyone. We just need to try to be aware and to avoid autopilot when it matters most.